When a squirt gun just isn't enough

Our 80lb Doberman, Elliott, has issues barking at anything and everything that moves past our house. In the past we have tried to correct him by squirting him in the face with a squirt gun. This stops the initial bark but hasn’t done much to correct the long term issue. This morning, Brandon came up with a new solution.

Brandon: I tasered Elliott.
Kristina: Why would you taser Elliott?
B: Because the squirt gun isn’t working.
K: I bet you enjoyed that.
B: No, I felt bad, but he has been naughty….now he’s just tired.

The lies an ID bracelet can tell

OK, so I like Sudoku...that doesn't mean I am crazy!

Brandon: Why are you wearing that medical bracelet?
Kristina: I don't know.
B: What does it say?
K: I don't know. You read it. You tell me.
B: It says mentally ill.
K: MENTALLY ILL! I'm not mentally ill!
B: Oh...OK... well is says Sudoku champion.
K: Why does is say sudoku champion?
B: Well it would be a good idea. This way everyone would know you are the sudoku champion of the world.